Conversation with a Pregnant Woman

One of my son’s two teachers recently announced she is four months pregnant. In my mind I said, “Congratulations!” But my mouth said, “Great. Now you get to see what hemorrhoids are really about!” Oops.
Even though both of my pregnancies were relatively smooth, they each left a few markers that are hard to forget, even today, with my children being three and five. This made it challenging for me to say something positive to the sweet, fair haired, blue eyed young lady in front of me. But, after the hemorrhoid statement I felt I had to try again.
And what came out was, “Do you feel sick? It goes away right about the time you can no longer see your feet.” I’m guessing this was not helpful.
So I tried again, “Do not under any circumstances listen to all of those women when they tell you how horrible their births were. By the time your baby is ready to come, you will not care what they are going to do to you. Really, you just want that thing out.” Hmmm. Maybe that wasn’t right either.
I left with my head held low. I made a real effort all day long to think of something positive to say to her.
The next day, I had it. I walked in, looked her straight in the eye and said, “You are the thinnest pregnant woman I have ever seen!” And, I said, “Have your breasts increased a bra size? They look amazing and so perky. Nope, no sagging there… yet.” Oooh, darn. I really tried.

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